where am i from again
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
