I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
