she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize