The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
