The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize