it was like eating out sand paper
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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