Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
