We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
