Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
