he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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