I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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