why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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