I think I won the penis lottery.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
