I just threw up on my dentist
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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