how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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