Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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