Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize