That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
