omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
