we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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