I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize