Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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