nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
