im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize