Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer