my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"