Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say