How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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