i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize