; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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