she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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