quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
