Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Damn victory sex feels great
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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