Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
