Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
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There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
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You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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