I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
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well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
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Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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