I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
