oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
