actually, I'm a sock model
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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