Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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