Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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