I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
There's always time for handjobs
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
