life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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