This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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