Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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