I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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