Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
