dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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