VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
