Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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