the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
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He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
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my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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