im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
