Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
