Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
