Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
