Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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