if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
