did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
